until the light returns
It’s been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and write; no agenda, no real reason, just a chance to get my thoughts on paper and maybe help even just one person feel like they aren’t alone...
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if we choose to look in its direction
I feel like this is what always happens, so I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record (with a few months in between each record playing.) But here I am, writing a stupid blog post just to prove to...
View Articlea softer trip around the sun
This morning, I woke up and took a walk for an hour by myself. My breath felt kind of shallow and no matter how deep I tried to inhale, it felt like it was stunted by something. Shortened. Being...
View Articlewhen the moon feels close enough to touch
Hi Dad, Happy birthday. I wish you were here so I could show up at your house unannounced with a bottle of Calvin cologne and we could watch football and talk about work, and life, and if I’ve “dated...
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it’s not goodbye, it’s see you soon.
Since before I can remember, I asked for a big brother for Christmas. But not just for Christmas, literally any chance I ever got. I begged my parents to no avail, and eventually ended up kind of...
View ArticleFinding what I wasn’t looking for
Man, so much has changed over the past few months and I am finally finding time to sit down and get some of my thoughts out of my head and onto the keyboard. I have found myself in a really present,...
View Article4 years.
4 years. Today it has been four years since my dad passed away. It feels like so much longer and so much shorter all at the same time. I am thankful that I still reach for my phone to call him when I...
View Articlethe bright white light
Grief is the craziest experience of my life, thus far. It is not linear. It does not follow a path or a pattern or any type of algorithm that we can track. It just, is. And, some days, grief is filled...
View Article5 years.
5 years. This morning I woke up with the beautiful sawtooth mountains as a backdrop for my morning, sipping coffee and taking in every fragment of the moment as my heart broke and mended a million...
View Articlechanging the ending this time
I don’t know how to exist in a healthy relationship. I am literally just barely recognizing that I’ve never even had one, and it’s terrifying to feel like some weird lens has been removed from my eyes....
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